Create your Dream List

Published on January 17 2015 by Canelle

Alright, I’m writing this article while watching Plain Jane on MTV. Or “Hot in 10 Lessons” for the French translation. Which is kind of in the theme of this article but not at all really.

This article is about change and taking control of your life. Kind of. But not in the “American” way (no offense sweetie). It doesn’t mean changing everything that bothers you about yourself in two minutes with heavy tools provided by your beloved TV channel. Nor giving you a talk about self-confidence, and how believing in yourself and really wanting something can change your life. Sure some determination doesn’t hurt. But try and tell a starving African orphan that yes, he can be a successful ballet dancer if he really wants to. I mean, come on, Billy Elliot did succeed! Anyway the aim of the talk was certainly not to emphasize how unfair the world is, but how to help you focus on what’s really important for you.

A lot of people REALLY focus on one aspect of their existence. I just started a new job a year ago and have been devoting a lot of attention and time to it. Always telling myself “this is the beginning of my career, I am going to get great things out of my devotion: experience, recognition etc”. But the truth is that I have a colleague who is 20 years older than me, doing the exact same thing. I don’t want to look back, twenty years from now, and realize that I lost myself into work for so many years… always telling myself that I will have time to play the piano, draw or write some other time. When… when what exactly? There will always be something else to work on in your job. That’s for you to decide where the boundaries are. Putting all your efforts into one area can lead to great results, but there is no guarantee and that’s why it can also be devastating. You need to be able to smile about different things in your life in case one of them do not work out. That’s essential for personal balance.

And writing DOWN what you would like, you, personally, to accomplish in your life is actually more helpful than what you might think. Indeed: dreams, ideas… they are only thoughts until you write them down. Once they are written, they can’t be forgotten anymore. Dreams on paper become a promise you are making to yourself, a statement, a resolution.

But enough with the pet talk now, let’s speak technical : what should you be focusing on in your Dream List?

Tadadaaaaaaaa......

Well, first of all, here is an example of a very bad list:

Meeting a vampire, fall in love and have babies with adorable baby fangs
Becoming a billionaire
Being noticed by Brandon, being asked out. And marrying him eventually.

(Yes, my example wants to marry a lot of people… )

Obviously, the first item is just a fantasy. If you don’t count that girl who married a cardboard version of Edward Cullen in Las Vegas a few weeks ago - (“Seeeee?! Determination!!” – yeah.. no). Please focus on something that exists. While I go feed my unicorn.

The second one might work if you are a kick ass business man full of innovative ideas. But a lot of people prefer staying in their couch and watch Plain Jane all week-end long, telling themselves “Aaaaw I wish I had a LOT of money to buy aaany shoes I want”. Which is fine! But in this second case, chances are rather thin that you will ever achieve this goal unless you run into the genie – Prince Ali, fabulous heeee Alii Abaaabouaaa-. So you becoming a billionaire is not a fantasy per say, but still is. Focus people!

Now you’re gonna say… “but Brandon is reaaal”! Sure honey. But again I’m gonna have to cross this one. Brandon may not be a vampire but even if he exists, there is no guarantee that he will ever love you. Even if you try your best. It does depend on you, but also on luck, coincidence and hormones. In other words: don’t include a dream that depends too much on other people.

We are not here to imagine that you have all the time, money, resources and magic powers in the world. Let’s keep it simple, real, honest, but just as exciting, shall we?

Name 3 things that require efforts from you – because most of the valuable projects are, and one year from now, you’ll be glad you started today.

Name 3 things that you can do instantly – because constant effort is tiring, also focus on something fun, something you always wanted to do but never took the time to. Something you can cross off of your list pretty easily. It will keep you motivated.

Name 3 things that will be useful to you and others, or completely selfless – because studies (and personal experience I’m sure!) show that taking care of others is what makes us truly happy for a long time. If you’re not the biggest altruist ever and if you’re still wondering how Mother Teresa could dedicate her entire life among stinky and ill people, well o_O ... try to find something that can be useful for you, and somehow also for people in need or more simply just around you! We will call you Selfish Teresa. Or whatever your first name is.

I decided to go for 3 because otherwise, you get lost in your super long list and don’t prioritize anything, which often leads to not doing anything in the end.

If you’re out of ideas, you can find my personal list below.

Name 3 things that require efforts from you

Speak German - Useful for me AND for my job. Win–win=more motivation!
Be able to make a lateral split - I would hate to be a show off at the gym...
Run a marathon - Anything that will also help me stick to a healthy lifestyle!

Name 3 things that you can do instantly

Jump off a bridge, if possible with an elastic around my ankles - Because this scares the shit out of me but I’m pretty sure I would enjoy it!
Dye my hair with a not ordinary color - I never dyed my hair ever... and I will look stupid if I try when I'm 80.
Organize a spontaneous "sexy" evening for the boyfriend - Because if I keep waiting until I'm 100% fit and perfect, I'll probably never use the lingerie I spent so much on. Easier said than done, but at least now I don't have a choice anymore!

Name 3 things that will be useful to you and others, or completely selfless

Learn sign language - This might sound life the most selfish thing ever, but I’ve always wanted to learn sign language. To be able to communicate with deaf people of course, but also because I truly believe it can be a huge plus on a resume. The interviewer will HAVE TO ask about it, whether you have somebody deaf in your family, and when you say NO, you automatically become somebody open-minded, interested in other people, a team player, and a person who is not afraid of extra work when it is interesting. Again... win win !
“Sacrifice” two weeks of “real” vacations to do some humanitarian work somewhere exotic - Because those are “real” experiences, and even if it is supposed to be helping other people, it is also often a great way to improve your own life, to realize what is going on outside of your boring routine, and that no, you being 10 minutes late because of traffic jam is not the end of the world. Great way to gain some perspective!
Prepare a nice and customized present for my Mum’s 60^th birthday - Because my mum is the less selfish person ever and I’m the most ungrateful child ever. And it’s time this changes. Stay tuned for cute ideas for your parents. It’s often the cheapest gifts that mean the most to them.

Now that you have your list, keep it somewhere you will see it every once in a while: in the bedside table, in a visible folder on your computer desktop... That will help you stay focused. It’s pretty easy to just say “yeah that would be great to be able to do that” and then just postpone and forget because you have too much going on this week. Heavy week for work. Or you’re too tired. Or you’re too busy arguing with Edward’s cardboard and not in the mood. Well bumping into your Dream List will remind you that you still have exciting plans and projects in a corner of your mind, and that it’s time to make room for them. Damn it.

So, every now and then, take some time to evaluate the situation: What have you already managed to do? Do you have new ones? Do you get to cross something off your bucket list? If not, what should you do to focus a bit more? Remember that the timing will never be right. But most things don’t require more than 15 minutes every day... and consistency.

So… shall we, genie?